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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may make you
think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like an jerk.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell the same boring story over and over again until
your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you
to thay shings like thish.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone
them at 4:00 AM.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your pants.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to
roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose
species and/or name you can't remember).
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead and knees.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may create
the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than
some really, really big guy named Bubba.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe you are invisible.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to
think people are laughing with you.
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WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause an
influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and
sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.
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